Sleep for Insomniacs/Anxiety/etc.

I am a total, freaking insomniac.  

I know difficulty sleeping because you're up worrying is a common problem for a lot of people, but I know it especially weighs on people with depression and anxiety, making many of us into insomniacs.  I definitely fall into this category.  I lay awake and my brain insists on replaying events from the past day. This leads to inevitable self criticism over things that I feel I should have done differently though probably nobody else even noticed.  This further leads to thinking about events that happened the past week, extending until before I know it I'm up till 2 a.m. micro analyzing something that happened three years ago.  I totally kill myself over these little things and I can't turn it off.

So over the past year I've looked for better tactics in helping myself fall asleep.  It's taken me a long time to find these tricks that really work in helping me to fall asleep, and while they're not sure fire ways, they do help, so I thought I'd share them here with y'all. 

1)  I DON'T try to force myself to fall asleep at a strict time.  

Typically, what I do is try to be in bed early enough to relax and wind down, but I also keep myself busy enough to not let my thoughts wander either.  Don't think about time or deadlines, it will only wind yourself up more.  If for the first nights you don't get to sleep before 1 in the morning, don't sweat it.  The important thing is to sleep at all and be relaxed doing it.  

2)  I know that other people aren't necessarily like this, but in order for me to be relaxed I have to be putting my brain into action.  Not like solving a Rubix Cube type thing, just something that isn't totally thoughtless.  

For example, some of the stuff I do:

     * Scroll through encouraging or interesting Pinterest or Instagram posts. 

I know a loooot of people advise against this, and I get why, but you can't just turn your brain off.  So do something that doesn't take a lot of effort and is pleasurable to at the very least begin winding down. 

     * Read.  Cliche I know but it really does work.  I suggest keeping a supply of familiar and comforting books nearby.  Reread works that make you happy and take your mind off things happening currently.  Choose books that take you to a different time and place, something you can easily envision.  For me, Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, What Katy Did by Susan Coolidge, or Little Women by Louisa May Alcott are a few examples that really take hold of me and relax me.

     * Watch videos.  I keep a stack of heart warming movies by a small tv in my bedroom.  It doesn't get cable or anything but it has a simple dvd player attached.  A lot of the movies I keep on hand are movies I grew up with that take me back to simpler times.

3)  Don't be afraid of things to help you sleep or stay asleep.  

I used to fight medication to help with that really, really hard.  As a teenager my mom used to threaten to ground me if I didn't take something since my insomnia had reached a point where it was starting to take a serious toll my mental and physical health.  Taking a simple PM or even a Melatonin are good for helping your body to get used to shutting down at a certain time. If you're worried about addiction, ask your doctor and space it out.  It doesn't have to be every night, just enough to get into routine.  

Also do exercises or tricks to relax your body.  Anything from breathing exercises to just brushing your hair.  Rub on lotion and message it into your arms and legs.  Anything that takes the edge off your body.

4)  Remove all distraction from around you.  Make your rest space as comforting as you can.

My room looks like a 12 year old lives there, okay.  My bed is covered in stuffed animals and hand made blankets my mom made me.  The walls have posters from movies and bands, and Thomas Kinkade post cards pinned up all over the place.  I have a little biplane and a Christmas dreamcatcher hanging from the ceiling.  I have a nightlight in the form of Christmas lights.  Seriously, whatever makes you happy, go for it.  

5)  ASMR

This is a biggie for me.  ASMR gets a bad rep and a lot of people don't confess to watching it.  I get it.  I had someone totally flip out when they found out I watch these.  But if you have insomnia and/or anxiety then this REALLY. HELPS.  Some videos are kinda out there and weird, but many are truly just relaxing.  

My personal favorite YouTuber for this is ASMR Darling.  She does a variety of videos from triggers to roleplays.  They're over all pretty normal, and her camera persona is very down to earth and calming.  

"ASMR 10 Triggers to Help You Sleep"  

ASMR Darling

These videos are just the right balance of keeping my mind focused but not such I can't drift off.  I find myself drifting off during these all the time.  It's actually harder to stay awake than it is to not, especially if you've been lying down for a bit and allowed your body to relax.  

I'm going to link a few more of my favorite videos so you can get more of an idea of the variety.  There are others besides ASMR Darling (though she's all I'm linking in this post), who do a really good job, and once you find things that really help you it helps to narrow down what kind of videos you want.  

"ASMR Tapping and Scratching Dreamy Blue Objects"

ASMR Darling

"ASMR Wendy Darling Helps You Fall Asleep Roleplay"

ASMR Darling

I hope these helped at least a little.  Lemme know in the comments your thoughts or if you have any other suggestions.

For Everything there is a Season

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

² a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³ a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴ a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵ a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷ a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸ a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace."
~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

    One of the first things all Christians learn is that in the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth.  We learn about the seven days of creation, and how on the seventh day God rested.  But something many theologians study and debate in depth is the relativity of time, and what it is to God compared to what it is to us.
     We also know that all things are within God's control.  That's one of the points of the story of creation.  Time is also within God's control, though the "beginning" in the Bible is relative considering that for God there is no beginning and no end.  The "beginning" was simply a term used to mark where our stretch of understanding could start since we can't accept or process infinity in our limited imaginations.
     To consider time being within God's control is both comforting and disconcerting.  In some ways we put time on the same level as or even above God, and think that God works within time's confine instead of the other way around.    But time is simply the way that God explains that to us which we could never understand here on earth.  Beginning and endings are simply markers God places for us to have some sort of handhold of understanding.  But time is not the basis of God, and it is not infinite.

     God talks about this in Ecclesiastes 3.  He discusses how "to everything there is a time".  When I read this section before, I always thought of those times as smaller segments in something much larger.  But what I think God really meant was that truly, to everything there is a time.  Time does not exist to God, He creates it.  Infinity stretches on, but God places little segments of time in that infinity because truly, time will have a beginning and an end.
     Our lives are made up of segments of time.  Those segments have beginnings and they have ends.  With those ends and beginnings come changes and new segments of time.  God does not intend for any of these segments to last and change is important because this is not our eternity.  Time is meant to be fleeting and changing because this life is not permanent.  It's all temporary.


     What blows me away about this is that looking at it with that perspective, how meaningful my life actually becomes.  God has no time!  He is infinite!  He does not look for changes or beginnings or endings, He simply is!  And yet with that infinity, with that omniscience, He created this world.  He created every single detail and living and nonliving thing upon this earth.  Within all of that absolutely incredible, awe inspiring power and creativity, He created me with the same amount of precision, detail, and power.  He knew that while I wouldn't understand infinity here on earth, and I would allow time to overrun me, He still plans such amazing things for me!  He took this small segment of infinity, and gave it to me, and said "do something with this".  He has grand plans for me, and gave me joy and gave me strength and creativity and everything that makes me me and said "now use this, use what I gave you and celebrate in Me because I love you and I wanted you to have this, and then when you are done we will spend eternity celebrating".  Even with the presence of sin, my doubt, my worries, my misunderstandings, He still gave me this segment of time and He still gives me the promise of eternity, and He also promises me that while there may be bad things in this life they won't last.

     To everything there is a season.
     A time to die.  A time to pluck.  A time to kill.  A time to break down.  A time to weep.  A time to mourn.  A time to cast away.  A time to refrain.  A time to lose.  A time to tear.  A time for silence.  A time to hate.  A time for war.
     While God does not create all that, or wish it upon us, it happens.

     But while that happens, He also gives us the same promise over again in a new light.
     There will be a time to be born.  A time to plant.  A time to heal.  A time to build up.  A time to laugh.  A time to dance.  A time to gather together.  A time to embrace.  A time to seek.  A time to keep.  A time to sew.  A time to speak.  A time to love.  A time for peace.


    Sometimes this is so hard for me to remember, because I allow time to become my master and it drives me to worry and stress.  It makes me feel like God has forgotten me.  It makes me feel like my life is all in my hands and I'm ruining it.  But then God and tells me that no, this is not my job.  It is not my job to control it all.  It's not my job to know the future.  He has it all mapped out, and He has the timing perfect.  To all my hardships they will not last.  They have a time and that means it will have an end.  And while that also means that new ones will arise, I'm also told and promised that there will also be joys.  And while those joys will have their ends too, new ones will still arise.  And of course, I'm also promised that when it's all over, the ultimate joy will come in Heaven and time will have no power.